Friday, 24 July 2026|
Edition 1Filed under: General DisgruntlementSponsored by no one. Funded by nothing.HQ: Wherever the wifi works.Now accepting rants, retweets, and resentment.Party Launch — Live Since YesterdayEdition 1Filed under: General DisgruntlementSponsored by no one. Funded by nothing.HQ: Wherever the wifi works.Now accepting rants, retweets, and resentment.Party Launch — Live Since Yesterday
Party Launch — Live Since Yesterday

Voice of
the
Lazy &
Unemployed.

A political party for the people the system forgot to count.

Five demands. Zero sponsors. One large, stubborn swarm.

Read the News
Official PosterNo. 001
Approved
Cockroach Janta Party
CJP
Together, We Survive
Stronger Together
UnityResilienceProgress
1 MemberOn the chargeRe-loadRe-cruitBe the change
One Movement • One Voice • One Nation of Cockroaches
Together • Resilient • Unstoppable
“They tried to step on us. We came back.”
5
Demands
0
Corporate Donors
Patience
1
Founder, No PA
The Five Demands

The Manifesto.

Read it once. Read it twice. Then send it to someone who needs to read it.

01

If the CJP comes in power, no Chief Justice shall be granted a Rajya Sabha seat as a post-retirement reward.

02

If any legit vote is deleted, whether in a CJP or opposition-ruled state, the CEC shall be arrested under UAPA, as taking away voting rights of citizens is no less than terrorism.

03

Women shall receive 50% reservation, not 33%, without increasing the strength of Parliament. Additionally, 50% of all Cabinet positions shall be reserved for women.

04

All media houses owned by Ambani and Adani shall have their licences cancelled to make way for truly independent media. Bank accounts of godi media anchors shall be investigated.

05

Any MLA or MP who defects from one party to another shall be barred from contesting elections — and from holding any public office — for a period of 20 years.

Membership

Are you eligible
to join?

We do not check religion, caste, or gender. We do, however, have four (4) standards.

Req / 01
Unemployed
By force, by choice, or by principle. We don't ask.
Req / 02
Lazy
Physically only. The brain may continue to spiral.
Req / 03
Chronically online
Minimum 11 hours a day, including bathroom breaks.
Req / 04
Can rant professionally
As long as the content is sharp, honest, and points at something that actually matters.
Chapter One

Our
Movement's
Vision.

We are not here to set up another PM CARES, holiday in Davos on the taxpayer's salary slip, or rebrand corruption as “strategic spending.” We are here to ask — loudly, repeatedly, in writing — where the money went.

Our Mission

Build a party for the young people who keep getting called lazy, chronically online, and — most recently — cockroaches. That's it. That's the mission. The rest is satire.

Want the real news?
Go to CJP News →
Get in Touch

Connect with us.

Want to join, volunteer, complain, or send a meme? Use the form. We read everything. We reply to most things.

Membership form — Cockroach Janta Party

For a real journalism intake (tips, drafts, corrections), head to the newsroom's submission page. This form below is for the satirical party (membership only).